Abstinence

What is it?

Clinical abstinence is defined by not having sexual intercourse. This includes vaginal, anal and/or oral sex on a man or woman.

Many people choose to define abstinence in different ways, but these other definitions may not be clinically sound. To some, abstinence may mean no sexual contact at all, to others it may mean no vaginal intercourse but may include oral sex. Because of this, it is important to discuss with your partner clear definitions of what abstinence means to each other. Decide in advance what sexual activities you will say “yes” to and discuss these with your partner. Do this before getting in “the heat of the moment”. Communication is key in practicing abstinence. And keep in mind, if you are ‘abstinent’ in one behavior (such as vaginal intercourse) but not others (such as oral sex), you are still at increased risk for STIs.

Clinical abstinence is the most effective way to prevent pregnancy and STIs. Abstinence can last as long or as short as you want. Many couples choose to practice periodic abstinence to prevent pregnancy and therefore, abstain from vaginal intercourse during the times when they believe the woman is most likely to get pregnant. However, periodic abstinence can be unreliable and has a high failure rate.

Choosing to abstain doesn’t mean that intimacy or close contact with your partner is jeopardized. There are many ways to show your partner how much you care for them without having sexual intercourse. “Outercourse” is one way to do this. This refers to any activity that can be shared between two people that does not involve the exchange of 3 main bodily fluids – semen, vaginal secretions, and/or blood. This can include kissing, touching, massage, dancing, etc. Outercourse can keep intimacy alive in your relationship without putting yourself or your partner at risk for contracting STDs or getting pregnant.

How effective is abstinence?

Close to 100% effective

Benefits

• Totally safe
• No doctor’s visit is required
• Free
• Less likely to get an STD
• Anyone can use this method
• No side effects
• Instantly reversible
• No interference w/ lovemaking

Disadvantages

• May be difficult for some to stay abstinent for long periods of time
• If semen spills on or near the vagina, pregnancy is still a possibility, even without penetration
• STIs such as Herpes and HPV are contracted through skin-to-skin contact and therefore may be passed on even through there is no vaginal, oral or anal sex.